one of those days!

It is 1:30pm here and I could very well go insane before back up gets here sometime after 3pm. As of right now my kids are wild...I am not sure what to do, I want to just disappear.
About 30 min ago Deze was upstairs, and she was quite, not normal, I go up there to find her trying to shove things into the bathroom sink......I get the colors out of it and get her into the play room...she is mad at me. I am not having to remove her from tables every 10 seconds and she is tearing up yet another book. I have no idea what to do with her, I feel like I am failing at this whole mom thing.
Nothing gets through to her, and I mean NOTHING. We tried the spanking thing, the yelling thing, the time out thing, the 1,2,3 magic thing.....shutting her in her room alone. You name it we tried it. She does not react!
While leaving school on Thursday with her and the other 2 girls she took off into the parking lot. I dropped all the boots and school papers and ran for her, caught her and got her up onto the curb just as the UPS truck drove right where she had been, he didn't see her. She was so close to being hit....scared me. Thank goodness Nomuken and Tajia stood on the curb and waited....
I fear that she is going to hurt herself, badly. The train, the trucks, cars, strangers, jumping from heights...none of it phases her in the least! She is getting bigger, stronger and arguing more.....
I dread the days I have to take Gabe and her both alone.....its so scary to not have control of her. Tajia and Nomuken know that cars can hit and kill you, they know that a stranger can take you and harm you....they know this, they listen when they need to. Gabe does not like people he does not know, he tends to cling to me alot....but I will take that over the running off any day, he still does this, alot, but when he is tired or sick its all mommy all the time!
Deze has a leash....she hates it, I hate the looks I get when I use it, but I think its time to use it again. I would rather the looks then a dead kid and guilt forever.
Today is just one of those I don't feel like I can do anything right days....the kids need more room to run, and to just be kids...I wish the mall here had an indoor play area, I would be there daily!
On the other hand the dishes are done, floor are vacuumed, laundry just needs folded and put up......