I hate having other people do things for me. Its even worse when said other person gets mad. Right now my husband is upset with me, cause I asked him to clean the things I cannot....I cannot stand up for more the about 5 min without crying literally in pain. I made it down stairs to start a load of clothes last night. Today I asked him to do the dishes and change Gabe's bed as he peed it over night. I am getting an attitude as if I hurt myself on purpose....just to inconvenience him....
I am hoping he goes to work tonight...not because I can handle things, but because I can take enough pain pills to no longer feel it and get something done here, before Christmas. I am running on about 4 hours of sleep....going up and down the steps 2 times last night put me in enough pain that it took 6 Tylenol and till 6am to pass out.
I hate this. I miss my kids. I miss my husband being able to sit and play his video games and being happy, rather then yelling and feeling like its my fault. I realize now that I have to suck it up, get up and limp it off.
The world fucking sucks right now, I am not ready for Christmas....Gabe is panicked about santa cookies not being done....I cannot stand up long enough to make them. So here is to taking pain pills and praying I can make it through another day of being someones burden.
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