Good morning world!

Its 8am......Deze passed out at 5am....was back up at 7:30am. Gabe and Geromy are still out cold. This is going to be a very long long day. We have Deze's teacher meeting today, so its not a good day for so little sleep.....

Its 3AM

and I just got Gabe to sleep. Turned off the lights and locked up the house. Only to turn around to see Deze wide awake.....Everyone else is sleeping. I just started more coffee....its going to be a hell of a long day. I am up for the day.
This is not going to be fun. Geromy works today at 3pm so I refuse to wake him up. He needs the sleep. At least she is cute....its her survival tactic!

Counting down the days.

Till the Tajia starts Kindergarden on sept 8th.....This Friday I am taking her to get her hair cut, new shoes and a new outfit...then out to lunch. A special day before she goes to big girl school. I have a new worry about her going to the class she will be in. One that sounds to most like I am a bad person.
A friend of ours is going to have their autistic child mainstreamed. The kid will be in Tajia's room. I fear this will affect her and the rest of the room. He is loud and stems alot (very much like Gabe does) he cannot sit in one place for any length of time. I worry about her and the other kids being able to hear the teacher and learn like they need to.
Now before I am judged I have to say, its a blessing and a curse having both neurologically typical and autistic kids. I tend to see things from both sides in a different light. We are homeschooling Gabe for many reasons. The main ones are for his safety, for the safety of the other kids, so he can learn at his pace on all subjects, and so the other kids can learn without him screaming and jumping around the room as a distraction.
So yes I get that it sounds bad, and I get that his mom wants him to have things as normal as possible......

Gabe has been chewing on his hands and other things alot lately. I think he has another loose tooth or one coming in....I am not going to check as he will bite if I get near his mouth!! We got in his homeschooling materials...and wow there are TONS of things. They supply so much. Everything from color workbooks to counting blocks for visual learning of math. Its so nice!

Nomuken goes to the eye doctor again this next week. Its the day we learn how bad her eyes are and if surgery is needed. I am nervous about this....
Deze's teacher is coming here tomorrow for the first home visit. She has NO idea that Deze is autistic. Should be lots of fun....We will know in the next week if they plan to put her in a special needs room.
We have located a PCA for Gabe and Deze. Its a friend of Germ's that is sick of working at target and wants the 3 dollar an hour raise! I cannot wait for the paper work to go through...I would love to be able to wash the laundry without Deze breaking something...again.
She broke the cookie jar yesterday.....Nomuken was very upset...it was in the shape of a monkey. Nomuken loves monkeys!
Its time for the normal bedtime fight with Deze now so I must run!

Summer is coming an end.

Tajia starts Kindergarden in 13 days...on Sept 8th. She is starting to freak out about this, I am answering questions the best I can. Kinda hard since I have no clue about how it works here. She has the backpack and all the things she needs....except the haircut and the 3 pairs of shoes! Yes 3. One to wear to and from school, one for gym to stay at school, and one that is for inside school only and never to go outside! These were on the school supply list. Kinda over the top if you ask me!

Gabe's homeschooling things are coming via UPS and are due here tomorrow. He is going to be homeschooled with the MN virtual academy. They are even allowing his IEP to be used. We get daily meetings online with a special needs teacher and tutoring when needed. They supply it ALL down to the computer, lesson plan, books and worksheets....
I think he will learn better at his own pace.
Tajia will be in public school for this yr, next yr we pull her out and homeschool her as well. The deal is that when we pull that social out let we give her a new one. So she will be starting gymnastics.
Nomuken will be in headstart in the kindergarden prep class this yr.....Deze well we are not sure yet, they want to toss her into the normal 3yr old room. This is a new teacher that knows nothing about autism.....I want her in there and in the special needs room.
We will be fighting the school to the bitter end on this one.
Today I mailed out the application for Deze to get a service dog! It is up to a 2yr wait.....This would be wonderful for her.

Stressed

Most parents love bedtime...that time when you tuck in the kids and read a book, do the simple cleaning then get alone time with your mate. I hate bedtime. Its nothing but stress. Its Deze running from room to room ripping things up. Its me in tears from chasing her and trying to remain calm with her for hours on end while trying to get her to sleep. Its her sucking her toes and biting her fingers till they bleed and laughing at me.
Its me knowing there are lots of dishes and laundry waiting for me to get done....and a trashed living room from her waiting as well....Its things I cannot do with her awake safely, its thinks that I alone do. Its making me feel like I am nothing, like I am a nobody who just lives to try to remain calm with a child that pushes every button she can, and once she does that she makes some up. I feel like I fail cause nearly every night she is still up at 11:30pm when germ gets home and he has to put her to bed.
During this time I do the dishes, laundry and general pickup of the house. Then Gabe goes to bed about 3-4am....and then the days starts all over. My worry is soon I have to do school as well. Tajia has to be there at 8am....means leaving here at 7:30am. I am not sure I can do this....hell I am not sure I can keep doing what I have to do now!
I know it will be ok...but I had this feeling.

The song

That feels like it describes my life:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZXHYItXWqE

For Grandma!