In Duluth now

For the next hour or so. Deze had her hearing test yesterday. She is just below average in her left ear, but she cannot hear high pitches in that ear. Her right ear is non responsive.
There is alot of fluid in her ears, not ear infection type, just fluids. They are not draining like they should be. The next step may be ear tubes, but they want to find out if she can hear from her right ear at all. So we come back in 4 months for more testing.

We also talked about the possibility that maybe she has sensory integration disorder and adhd too. I am not sure how to take this. I have thought all along that those were issues. But as normal I was ignored, and now its brought up a yr later.

I want to go home. We had fun at the water park last night, but this morning has been hell. Geromy is in a bad mood and its all "my fault". It gets old after a while.....but that is a whole other issue at the moment. I just want to be able to process yesterdays blow without being yelled at.

Tajia met a girl at the water park that she became instant friends with. They played together for 4 hours in the water park. When it was time to head upstairs to go to bed, they both cried! It was cute, but I felt so bad taking her away from her new found friend. So I took a picture of the 2 of them so that Tajia can always remember her!
Gabe had to be carried from the water park last night, he lost it. He was not happy and didn't understand why we could not stay the night there. They leave the lights on in there overnight so that didn't help. Nomuken is silly....she had a blast last night too. She passed out within second of being tucked into bed! It was super cute.
Deze is well Deze. She has no idea of anything going on. I did watch her more last night and noticed that she turns her head to where her left ear is toward you when you speak to her. My next step is to learn sign language. Even if the tubes help her, she will not be hearing 100% ever.
I feel so bad for her. She has so many things "wrong" with her. I want to go inside her head for one day. I want to know how she thinks and processes things. I need to know how to take care of her and how to make her feel loved.

48 Hours..

from now we will know if Deze can hear...and just how much. They may have to make her sleep to do the testing, and I am very nervous about that. She is just barely 4 yrs old had I need a second sheet of paper to list "health concerns" about her!
I almost feel numb. I hate the waiting, and she has no idea.

Tajia has a staph infection in her broken finger. The splint got wet and I was very sick and forgot to dry it....so she got a staph infection. She is on antibotics and a steriod cream.....It is looking better now. The ped was VERY close to just sending her over to the hospital to check in when she saw it! Her finger was BRIGHT red, hot and swollen badly.

Gaydin is reading! She read a book to me today....granted it was easy things like "the towel has sand on it" but I don't care!! I am so proud of her, and she is proud of herself too.

We are getting snow now. It started as rain, then changed to snow. The dogs rolled in the mud...I had to wash them each 2 times to get the dirt of them! It was gross...

I am tired right now. We will be staying the night in Duluth...not by choice, but because IF they put deze under for the testing she has to be watched VERY close for 24 hours....and a 2 hour drive in the snow with no help near just in case does NOT seem like the best of ideas.

In pain

So I have pictures to upload...just have to find the thing that hold the SD card and goes into the computer......

Today Deze was climbing on a tall stool we have. They are heavy and wooden. Well she started to jump on top of it. The stool started to fall. I caught Deze...NOT the stool. The stool landed on top of my right foot. The swelling started right away. I literally had a problem seeing for a minute due to the pain.
Once I could see again I made sure Deze was ok. And got ice on my foot. It has been 12 hours. Its still hurting bad. Even a blanket is too heavy to put on it.

On a side note I have decided that my house will NEVER again be clean to my OCD standards.....I get one room sorted and picked up and things where they belong only to find more dishes in the sink or clothes in the hamper. It never stops! Its just the way it is.......

The pain killers are kicking in...and Gabe is finally sleeping (at 2:30am) so I am going to try to get some sleep!

Sickness

So we have been struck by the sick bug. For the last 2 weeks......I think it may be the piggy flu. Just a guess, they are not even testing for it anymore. We have been struggling to keep up with the house work and the kids while sick. Its no fun.

Deze was evaluated by school again. They stated that she is fine, no worries about her at all. I would think a kid diagnosed with autism would be reason to worry, but what do I know?! They claim she is normal at school. Yet when I was there for the day with her she was not. Its just that the teachers do not pay attention to her....and the fact that she is 4yrs old. Most the kids in the room are barely 3yrs old or still 2. So she fits right in with them.
It makes me sad having to fight for her like this, its like they don't care about her or they think we are making the autism up. This kid drinks albuterol.....at the age of 4...and super glue and paint....she bites her fingers till they bleed, and pulls her own hair out. She has to have a 8lb blanket on her to sleep....if it falls off, she wakes up! She chews on toys, books, puzzles and chalk.....anything not nailed down......she breaks things alot....she scratches herself till she bleeds cause she cannot feel how hard she is scratching. Normal? Give me a fucking break!

Tajia is loving school. She can read some of the Dr. Seuss books all the way through with a little bit of help! She has class picture day tomorrow...that should be fun. She can now spell her name verbally and on paper correctly. I am not sure how they are learning so fast, but its fun to see her learn new things!

Nomuken is having fun at school too. She finally started to talk in class as of last week. She is a turkey and was mute all of last yr for them....and this yr too till now. I am happy that she is starting to feel comfortable with them and is speaking! She talks nonstop at home, so we were not worried about it, just waiting for her to come around. She is learning to write things very well. Its cute to watch her absorb things.

Gabe is still homeschooling. He is doing wonderful with math..but not so much with the writing and knowing letters thing. We are having a really hard time getting that down with him, he does NOT know the letters in his own name. Its just a matter of time and work though...it will be done. On the other hand he is in 1st grade math....I am thinking he will be doing something with math as he gets older :)
We will love him all the same either way!

We have a PCA for the kids, but at the moment its almost more work then help. I am not sure what to do about that right now. Our medical is canceled so Gabe missed a counseling appointment today.....we have been without medical for a week now. Its frustrating.
I have been getting things on clearance as we go for the kids for xmas and bdays. They are coming up fast (Deze's was last week!) and we are going to be really bad off money wise soon.
Deze and Gabe are going to be seeing specialist in Duluth every week. Its going to be hard to afford, but its worth it to help them.......I will post pictures of Dezire's birthday party as soon as I can....

These are random pictures from the last month. I have lots more pictures to add, but the computer is only loading the one at a time, so its taking a while. Will have pictures of the water park and 4 wheeler rides on here tomorrow....as well as a long update. Off to bed thought as I have to be up for the day in 5 hours!

Tajia's hair

Tajia had her hair highlighted with purple for the start of kindergarden. She loves it as do the other kids in her room!